Ramblings of a Mami of Two

Full disclosure: I generated the post's title using ChatGPT.  It's Mother's Day today.  I didn't plan on writing a blog post today. It is 2024. Social media has been reigning the past few decades and lengthy blog posts have gone out of style. Even Instagram has taken the backseat to TikTok. For personal and mental health reasons, I have chosen to leave Instagram temporarily, and, for the life of me, will never, ever, embrace TikTok.  I choose to remain a dinosaur in the social media age. Moving on.  I have been a mother for close to 16 years now. Being a mother is hard, y'all, and no one can ever say they are prepared to be mothers. If anyone tells you this, they are lying. No amount of reading can and will prepare you for the dizzying, emotionally intense, identity-changing whirlwind that is motherhood.  Having said that,  I wouldn't trade the past 16 years for anything in the world.  The love I have for my sonshines is unlike anything I have ever exp...

Hello Hakimi.  Happy 15th Birthday. 

Happy 14 th Birthday, dear firstborn.  I am proud of the person you have become today. You have grown into a responsible young man who knows who you are and what you want to be. Life will throw you many curveballs, some of which will throw you off balance and sometimes into the pit. You will meet all sorts of people – nice, kind ones, nasty ones, and sometimes outright horrible, terrible, manipulative ones.  As long as you know who you are, and what your values are, you will always summon the courage to get back up, and know when and where to draw the line. Live an intentional life, as life is too precious to be wasted without intention.  You want to be able to look back and say to yourself, "I have lived a full life". Always put yourself first, but always be kind about it. Always speak your mind, but learn how to be strategic about it.  Kimi, A lot of my firsts were and will be with you. Along the way, I have learnt a lot but I have also made many, many, horr...

Asalamualaikum Hakimi anak pertama Mami,  You are 13 today.  You are on a life-long journey of discovery. There are so many wonderful things to learn about life, about yourself, about the world. How does the world work? Why do things around us happen? What motivates people to do the things they do? Why are we in living in a different country? Why is Mami baking too much bread? Why is your brother annoying you? How did Trump became the POTUS? How did a political party voted off legitimately became part of the ruling government two years later? ( eh? )   What are your values? What piques your curiosity? What makes you tick? What makes you happy? Do you even know how happy feels? Most importantly, who is Hakimi?  Tony Stark defines himself as a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist .  What defines you?  Kimi baby,  I am already nearing 40, and even I don't have the answers to the above questions. Anyways, life is an evolving process - you cont...

This morning while I was preparing your breakfast, you came to me and gave me a pink card that read: Thank you Mami sebab lahirkan saya dan saya pandai main magic pencil dan magic getah Thank you Hakimi for being my son. Hakimi, I am not the best mother in the world, I let you eat megi, I stared at my phone while I am with you, I sometimes missed making breakfast for you. After seven years, I still don't know if I had taught you life's basic skills, I don't know if I had raised you well or ruined you, I don't know if I had trained you well. But Hakimi, You have brought me nothing but happiness. You are my hero. You saved me from what I was, you made me a better me. You saved us.I think I owe you more than you'd ever owe me. You know Kimi, the world out there, it's a cruel, cruel world. I will prepare you for all the world has to throw at you, but I will also teach you to cherish what makes the world to you. I am trying my best Hakimi. I hope you ...

...on August 12th. Yep two months ago, I forgot to write about it. In fact I should've written this entry when it turned 10 years last year, but I haven't been blogging much. 11 years old. Kalau anak, aku dah kena dengar dia bebel pasal girlfriend agaknya.  Since 2010, the last time I "analysed" my own posts , which also happened to be the year I blogged most since I graduated eight years ago, aChieaJanie has seen a downward trend in blog posts.  Yeap I sound like an amateur economist already.  I think the decline was due to me not having much to blog anymore, I mean, Hakimi's already walking, talking, gone to school, I was over the pureeing-freezing, breastfeeding phase... Kimi was (still is) the main subject of this blog. That's a screen cap of the blog's label cloud. You see how much I've written about Kimi over the years compared to other subjects?  No, it doesn't mean I love Kimi any lesser. It's just that, over t...

1. Age is just a number; and  2. What more could I ask for? =)

Last Saturday we threw you a big birthday bash. Ayah brought a zoo to our house, no kidding, okay there were no elephants or animals of that sort, but we did have snakes and iguana on our porch! Blegh. If there is one thing you must know about your Ayah, it's he is a BIG fan of binatang-binatang (and so are you!). The petting zoo turned out to be a good investment, I know you kids enjoyed it. You must thank your Ayah for that. Don't forget to call him and thank him again, when you read this. A lot of people came, atok Ma, atok Ba, nenek, nek ma, your uncles and aunties, cousins... Your school mates came too! Even your teachers! I was a bit too busy entertaining guests to check on you, but the few glances I took of you showed me how happy you were.  So yeah. Kimi, Thanks for coming into my life. In just 5 years, you've given my life more meaning that I'd ever be able to give my self, on my own. In just 5 years, I've laughed more that I ever had ...

I have been cracking my head in the past one month for sweet things to write and do for our fifth anniversary. Honestly, I have no idea what to say or how to describe my feelings or how to describe the past five years that both of us have gone through. The experience, the feeling, the whole journey, everything, they are indescribable.  No words could express how thankful I am to Allah for sending me this man, for giving me this life, for giving us this passion (and patience), to live with each other.  Saya penyepah, husband saya pengemas.  Saya tak romantic langsung, husband saya memang romantic gila.  Saya pandai masak gulai lemak cili api, husband saya punya asam pedas to die for.  Saya suka lauk melayu, husband saya prefer simple food.  Saya suka terhegeh-hegeh, husband saya selalu remind saya to be on time.  Saya basuh pinggan, husband saya lipat baju.  Saya mop lantai, husband saya tebang pokok.  Saya siapkan breakfast every mo...

Assalamualaikum Kimi Sayang,  It’s 28 October 2012. It means you’re four today. Four. Can you believe it? Four years had passed by since I first laid my eyes on you .  A lot of things had happened in the last four years, more good than bad, and it all happened because of you. You brought Mami and Ayah closer than I ever thought we could be. You turned both of us into better people. You made me see a whole new side of Ayah that I had never seen before and it made me thank Allah that whatever happened, happened. I couldn’t have asked for more from you. Eh wait, I could. I actually hope (want) you to graduate high school with the most A’s a student is allowed, secure a scholarship and graduate from RPI (so we could find a reason to visit RPI again – you know, that place means a lot to us). Okay, okay, I was joking ( not ). Hakimi, You have grown up to be a fine young man. Okay probably it’s too early to call you a “fine young man”, but honey ...

No, sebelum ni dia takla buruk pun. Ach and I seldom talk about his business. Its either we don't talk work stuff at home ( which I don't think is true - Ach knows whos who and whats what in the office ) or Ach is not much of a talker, or aku yang tak observant to notice things.  Because of this, I don't know much about Aidan's development - how they are doing, who their clients are, etc. I did not even know that Aidan was renovating their office. Baru malam semalam je Ach showed me the new office facade - sangat cantik. Sangat sangat.  And saya tiba-tiba mengalirkan air mata kebanggaan. Saya bangga dengan suami saya and his team. Picture from Suhaimi Ramly Tau tak, masa mula-mula they set the company up, I saw how my husband worked hard to keep up with two jobs at one time. He was, literally, working night and day. Siang kerja makan gaji, malam kerja untuk bagi orang lain gaji.  When I was pregnant with Kimi, Ach would teman me until I fall asle...

In my last entry, I wrote about how my raya is defined by three days - the day before 1st Raya, 1st Raya, and 2nd Raya. Day before Raya because of the cooking, 1st Raya because of the emotional salam session and 2nd raya because of the Annual Idris Clan Gathering.  Selit sikit with the compulsory tidur petang on the first Raya.  So when I celebrated my first Raya away from Mak, it kinda, redefined the meaning of Raya to me. Everything that I had experienced about raya all these while was totally different that what I experienced on the Raya of 2008. Which, I still remember second by second until today. Not that it's a bad thing though. You see, my MIL is a super efficient lady who can get all the raya cooking done on the morning of 1st Raya itself. The first time, I remember I kept asking my husband, "Bila mak awak nak start masak rendang ni?" And I was very surprised when he said, "Esok pagi kot". True enough, when I woke up on 1st Raya ( whic...

Raya is only two days away, and I can't wait to go home and eat mak's raya food. It's Gombak's turn this year, babeh! Somehow, at 29 years old,  as much as I want to be excited about raya, even the hippiest raya song of all fails to get me hyped up about raya. As hyped up as I used to be kecik kecik dulu. Haih, age does wonders you know. Anyhoo, I still love raya. The food, the family gaths, the salam-salam peluk-peluk (probably the only time in the year when I would peluk-peluk my siblings). Based on my conversations with colleagues and friends, raya in KL is unlike raya in kampungs. Ours is... short. But meriah nevertheless. Here is my raya routine for 24 years (tolak 3 raya in the States and 3 yrs raya in Johor): A day before raya: Masak rendang Masak kuah kacang Masak nasi impit Kemas rumah, tukar all stuff that can be tukare-d Malam raya When abah was still around, I would help mak prepare tapai for that night's takbir guests. Where I live...

(Mereka berdoa): “Rabbana (wahai Tuhan kami)! Janganlah Engkau (Allah) sesatkan hati kami sesudah Engkau (Allah) berikan petunjuk kepada kami, dan kurniakanlah kepada kami rahmat yang langsung daripada sisi Engkau (Allah). Sesungguhnya Engkau (Allah) adalah al-Wahhab (Maha Pemberi).” source       Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. All praises for Allah for his guidance and blessing . Please do not take your guidance away, please keep me in the right path. 

As I told ya last week , its the year of Appliances. On the 7th, when I got home from work, Kimi ran at me and ajak aku naik atas to our bedroom. Ach jerit "Kimiiii jangan bawak mami naik atas!" while giving him the death stare. Kimi cepat2 cover and said, "takde ape ape mami.. jom turun balik jom." Gelak besar aku. That night, we took mak for dinner at Sekinchan Ikan Bakar. Before we left the house, Ach gave me a heavy box, an envelope, a kiss on the cheek and said, Happy Anniversary. Kimi pun sibuk-sibuk, kissed me and said, "beytu mami!", that's I love you too mami in his language. I brought the box into the car, Kimi cakap, mami bukak la sekarang. Bukak, kimi nak tengok. I opened the box, and got this black thingy. Ach kata its a power surge protector. So I ws like, oh okay. Maybe I need this in my house. Yeay! Thanks husband! We ate ikan bakar, got home, I gave ach a power drill, because I know he wants to  DIY a lot of things  whe...

Ya Allah, Dialah cahaya hidupku, Yang membawa aku jauh dari kegelapan yang menyedihkan, Dialah kebahagiaanku. Ya Allah, Dialah semangatku, Yang tak pernah putus asa dengan aku, Dialah pendukung aku. Ya Allah, Dialah gelak tawaku, Di saat aku duka, Dialah kegembiraanku. Ya Allah, Dialah teman aku, Dialah suamiku. Ya Allah, Berkatilah suamiku, Rahmatilah suamiku, Murahkanlah rezeki suamiku, Jauhkanlah suamiku dari dukacita yang menyakitkan, Kurniakanlah dia kebahagian seperti mana dia membahagiakan aku. Ya Allah, Andainya aku yang terbaik untuk suamiku, Jadikanlah aku isteri yang baik Jadikanlah aku isteri yang solehah Kerana aku ingin membahagiakan dia seperti mana dia membahagiakan aku. Happy 29th Birthday, Dearest Husband. Love, Wifey aChieaJanie, 3rd June 2011, Impiana KLCC

Whoa. Four years. Yeah, our fourth anniversary is coming soon. According to Wiki , (try googling for Wedding Anniversary), fourth year is the year of Appliances. Last year's was leather.Last year, Ach gave me seven handbags. Yeap, you read that right, SEVEN. One handbag a day up to the anniversary day itself. Didn't blog about it for fear of sounding too happy macam kanak2 ribena or monyet dapat bunga. You see, I dont like to spend my money buying bags (branded or non branded, sama je). The last time  I bought a branded bag (not designer bag) was hmmm, 4 years ago. Tak sampai hati nak belanja RM500 for a piece of leather. Ada some of the bags yang aku gantung je dalam almari sebab sayang nak guna. Business Card Holder that Ach use as hiw wallet till now Anyways, yeah, this year's theme is Appliances. Kalau ikut traditional gifts its linen / silk, tapi since we are we are planning to move into a new house next year, appliance...

Yes. He's still my baby.  It's only the third year, but I'm already  running out of things to write! Macam mana ni? Alright, let's start with what he can do at 3 years old: He can ride his balance bike  on his own. Totally balanced. Siap boleh angkat both legs off the ground and not fall. Huiyo. I could only ride the bike without supporting wheels when I was 10. Yep, I wasnt born to be an athlete. Is seriously talkative. He can talk like an adult, that's why it is really fun talking to him. And the stuff he says nowadays are totally random. " Kimi baik, Kimi bukan girl! " Eh? Who has been feeding funny ideas to you baby? Or try this: Ayah: " Kimi, kakak sofiana buat apa? " Kimi: " Sapu sampah" . Ayah: " Mommy? " Kimi: " Mommy tido! ". Argh!!! He can pronounce L clearly but fails at S, F, H ("eh"), C ("ci"), K ("tay"). Eats like an Italian. Spaghetti aglio olio. Blegh. N...

Target: To have Kimi completely potty-trained by April 2011 . Status in February: Kimi would only tell when he needs to do No. 2 Status now: He is COMPLETELY off diapers. Alright, except for long jouneys, but that's because I am not willing to take the risk of having my car smelling like poo. Selfish, I know. Sorry. The last time I bought his diapers was a month ago and they're still there in his drawer. Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah.

Alright, this ain't the first time that I burst my front right tire, in fact, its the third time this year. And it's only May.So why does this one deserve a blog entry? Because: it happened on a Sunday it happened at my office parking lot I handled everything on my own. Details: I had to work last Sunday. On Mother's Day alright. Sheesh. So I left home at 9, all the way driving with my eyes half shut. The only thing on my mind was to park my car and grab a can of coffee at the vending machine. Because really, I was super sleepy. So naturally when I arrived at the car park, the only thing I saw was my parking spot melambai-lambai towards me. Tetiba I noticed another car parked at my spot (I have a designated parking space), somehow I was thrown off track and in a split second my kepala was panicking macam, alamak, where the hell do i park my car? Tetiba, BAMMMMM SCREEEECCCHHH SREEETTTT BEDEBUM. I had run over the curb and burst my tire. Yeay. I parked my car, g...