Confinement and Motherhood

Its been a week since I gave birth to Kimi last Tuesday. So like how?

Of Confinement:

Confinement, as many would know, sucks. =D
Okay that might not be the case for everyone, because some ppl had a nice confinement period. Actually, it IS nice in some ways, like, everyone treats you like a princess – food is delivered right to you dekat meja makan, mak boils air mandi daun2 herba every single morning which makes me feel like being treated in a spa, ach does everything for me and I wont have to move an inch, except to feed the baby.

But then there is the, like what nadiah noor had said, unwanted differing advices. Some said can eat ayam, some said cannot, some said drink lotsa fluid some said cannot, my bibik keeps telling me to walk like a pengantin, to minum 3 drops of air rambut sendiri every morning to avoid rabun, mak keeps telling me to wear my sweater, makcik urut keeps giving me tips that sometimes I think is nonsense, and yadda yadda yadda… Ada sedikit pressure di situ…

Luckily mak’s pantang regime is a bit more flexible than others. I’m still allowed to eat ayam (tho that’s only after a week of siang-malam steamed ikan haruan + sawi rebus). Air sejuk still a no-no, some buah yang mak kate sejuk, like apples tak boleh but me being me aku makan je curik2. Teehehehehe….

Lepas tu, ada la pantang lain like not supposed to read or do anything that involves staring at something for too long (ini sebab takut mata rosak), pakai sweater and socks 24/7 (sebab takut badan sejuk), jalan kepit kepit like pengantin(to make sure the thing down there kuncup balik after being stretched the size of a baby-luckily kimi’s not that big teehehehe), bengkung seketat2 nya with some ointment+air asam limau (this, I follow religiously after seeing the flabs on my tummy), sapu my perut with air liur from my langit-langit (to expedite perut kempis) and so on…. I only follow the ones that make sense to me…. Nak follow semua, semput ahhh I wont even be able to browse the net for a month la like that. Gile. Staying at home pun amat bosan sbenarnya…

Of Motherhood and Being a first-time Mother

Aaaa… I want my sleep back!!!!!!!

Okay, not as bad as that. Kimi has his own moods, skati dia je la dia nak tidur, dia tidur, dia tanak tidur… berjaga la mummy and ayah sampai pagi… What to do? Dah ada baby…

So how do I feel abt being a mother? I wish I could say, it’s the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me and I love cuddling my baby 24/7, but unfortunately, I cant. Having a baby IS the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to me and ach, but all the responsibility and this new routine is a bit overwhelming, I must say.

Tak tidur malam, tidur kena ikut time dia, kena tukar diapers dia everytime dia poop (Kimi’s quite a pooper… =P), kena fikir ape nak cakap ngan dier everytime he’s BF, (I read somewhere that you should talk to the baby while BF-ing it, sebab the brain is developing the fastest sekarang), and kena gilir2 tidur dengan ach, or gilir2 makan dengan ach… I’m not even able to tidur manje2 with ach now that kimi is sleeping between us.

Talking about ach, last two nights I cried the whole day and night sampai mata sembap macam kena tumbuk, just sebab I missed ach and the times we used to spend together… I imagine, there’d be no more Friday midnight movies, or weekends shopping together, impromptu dinners, and even tidur sama sama at night, and now I have to share him with Kimi… I know it sounds crazy and selfish and mengada-ngada, but I seriously do miss ach. But then again that might be the post-partum hormone talking. Mak said that’s the setan setan talking trying to make me hate my son and taking advantage of my fragile emotions. And that I have too much time to think of nonsense. I have to agree with mak. Just be patient ajan, those times will surely come again.

But then, despite of all that, everytime I look at Kimi I cant imagine life without him already. Bile dier bukak mata and tenung tah mana-mana, he melts my heart. Those bulat mata of his are just too adorable… Sejukk je aku tgk… Bila dia nangis… rase cam.. “alalalala anak mummy nangis… meh meh sini kat mummy mehh… “ I don’t know how to describe the feelings in words la. Kimi smiles a lot too… I dunno to whom / what he’s smiling at tapi sangat laaa cumil bila dier smile.. sometimes lebar gila lak tu dia senyum. And when he’s BF-ing and tak kena bedung, he’ll always put one hand with those tiny little fingers on my breast as if to say, “Eyyy ini Kimi punyala jangan kacau!”…. all these, make the sleepless nights worth going through….

Ait itu ajer. Baru seminggu jadi mak neh. Nanti cerita lagi panjang2… I leave you with a picture of Kimi tidur kura-kura style…