Susu oh Susu!
Kimi’s almost 9 months-old now, and that’s how long I’ve been breastfeeding him. Truly satisfying.
As mentioned before, my milk supply has gone down really bad, that I’ve considered supplementing with formula. I have actually, with Isomil, only couple of days after that entry. Since then, I have come to accept the fact that I’m not longer fully breastfeeding him. Actually, when I said “come to accept the fact”, what I really meant was, “kept pumping, while fully acknowledging that the two bottles are not enough for one day, and assume that another bottle will magically appear out of thin air”. The reality has never dawn on me because I’ve never seen him drinking it in front of me, let alone mixing it for him!
Like they always say, ignorance is bliss. Exactly.
But last night was truly heartbreaking. Apparently, my milk is not enough, he keeps waking up at night and worse, I could hear his stomach grumbling! (Yes, it took me THAT long to realize that Kimi is hungry). I had no choice but to wake up and mix him formula. Okay, note to readers, I don’t condemn parents who give formula or of the opinion that formula is bad for the baby, ok? That’s totally your personal choice, for whatever circumstances you have. It’s just that, that is the one thing that I’ve been fighting so hard for, one thing that makes me feel like I’ve achieved more than I’ve done in the past 26 years (and I graduated with an engineering degree, heh), and now it’s almost gone.
There’s nothing much I can do now, besides pumping harder. To help ease my sadness, I’ve sorta engraved into my brain, some motivational words that I quote from Nadiah Noor’s blog:
“BUT I also have to keep reminding myself that I am doing this out of LOVE for my child, not to satisfy my obsession, not to satiate my own ego; that it is OK to supplement if I can’t be around and there’s no supply left in the freezer.”
Thanks to nadiah noor, I feel a lot better =)
And plus, I did it the first six months! Ape la, why is it so hard to remember previous MAJOR achievements when faced with such a small setback? Dey!
As mentioned before, my milk supply has gone down really bad, that I’ve considered supplementing with formula. I have actually, with Isomil, only couple of days after that entry. Since then, I have come to accept the fact that I’m not longer fully breastfeeding him. Actually, when I said “come to accept the fact”, what I really meant was, “kept pumping, while fully acknowledging that the two bottles are not enough for one day, and assume that another bottle will magically appear out of thin air”. The reality has never dawn on me because I’ve never seen him drinking it in front of me, let alone mixing it for him!
Like they always say, ignorance is bliss. Exactly.
But last night was truly heartbreaking. Apparently, my milk is not enough, he keeps waking up at night and worse, I could hear his stomach grumbling! (Yes, it took me THAT long to realize that Kimi is hungry). I had no choice but to wake up and mix him formula. Okay, note to readers, I don’t condemn parents who give formula or of the opinion that formula is bad for the baby, ok? That’s totally your personal choice, for whatever circumstances you have. It’s just that, that is the one thing that I’ve been fighting so hard for, one thing that makes me feel like I’ve achieved more than I’ve done in the past 26 years (and I graduated with an engineering degree, heh), and now it’s almost gone.
There’s nothing much I can do now, besides pumping harder. To help ease my sadness, I’ve sorta engraved into my brain, some motivational words that I quote from Nadiah Noor’s blog:
“BUT I also have to keep reminding myself that I am doing this out of LOVE for my child, not to satisfy my obsession, not to satiate my own ego; that it is OK to supplement if I can’t be around and there’s no supply left in the freezer.”
Thanks to nadiah noor, I feel a lot better =)
And plus, I did it the first six months! Ape la, why is it so hard to remember previous MAJOR achievements when faced with such a small setback? Dey!
Comments
wahh both baby and you so lucky!!
Hebat u boleh maintain susu sampai 9 bulan. =)
Besides pumping apa lagi you buat hek?
Kimi kalau terjaga malam memang takde la nak hisap susu from saya sampai kenyang, kalau dia tengah lapar betul tu tonyoh2 B pun die tanak hisap, malas dah agaknye tade hasil.
Tapi kalau bagi botol susu pun dier bukan minum banyak. 2 oz aje.
don't worry too much. what's important is, we know we've tried our best. at the end of the day, what's important is that both mummy and baby and happy and healthy. If one is no longer happy & healthy, it's time to move on to s'thing new..:)
in any case, think it's amazing how a child can change ur perspective on life, kan? :)