Good Night, Baby

My son is a very manja baby. Not spoiled (yet?), just manja. Eversince he was born, I would nurse him to sleep everynight without fail. Because of this habit, he now NEEDS me to sleep. He can't sleep without me. Actually he could, but not before crying non-stop for one hour. He needs to have his dose of *nenen* before he dozes off. I kinda like that, because knowing that someone needs you that much makes me feel like a superhero. Like I am needed. And loved.

But now that has become my biggest problem. You see, I might have to be away for around two weeks. It's not confirmed yet tapi aku dah start panicking.

So tonight I thot I'd train him to sleep without nenen. So during his bedtime, I just rubbed his back like I used to do but skip the nenen. Initially he was ok, maybe because he thought he was going to get it. After a while he started crying, and that lasted for an hour, during which he vomitted once.

I tried to jadi hati kering and refrain from nursing him, believe me aku tak tahan langsung I cried. Tak sampai hati dengar budak ni menangis. Konon nak hati kering, konon nak train this boy so that he wont be of any trouble to people left behind, konon taknak selfish. Tapi... I think only mothers understand that feeling.Tak boleh describe. So after one hour I surrendered and nursed him, automatically senyap macam nothing happened.

Haih. Macam mana ni baby?

I've been lucky that I've managed to dodge this situation quite a few times in the last two years, but I think my luck is running out I dont know if I'll be able to dodge this one too. My best hope is to train Kimi in case I have to be away.

This is one of the times that I wish I'm a SAHM. *or single?*

Help.