Seven Months of Breastfeeding, and counting.. hopefully
For the past 6 months, I’ve been blessed to be given the opportunity to exclusively-breastfeed Kimi, despite facing several terrible drought seasons. For this, I couldn’t have been more thankful. All seemed rosy and I got the vibe that this will go on until Kimi’s second birthday.
That was up until last week…
…when I used up all of my stock. Stock’s gone. Depleted. Finish. Nada. Nil. Ilek.
Actually, tinggal satu botol of 4 oz. But that doesn’t make any difference. What’s worse, I’m getting less and less for each pumping session.
**********************************************************
I’m such a strong advocate of breastfeeding to the extent of making myself look like an ass / jerk when it comes to situations like these:
Other people : “I tak boleh la breastfeed anak I, susu I tak cukup.. lagipun I hantar anak I dekat babysitter..”
Me the ass: “Ada je sebenarnya susu, you kena selalu pump aje”
Other people : *Offered kimi sweets*
Me the ass: “Ey, ey tak boleh! Dia tak makan sweets!” *with high-pitched panicky voice*
Yeap, I’m an ass, I know. Teeheheheehhe...
That's because I truly believe in the goodness of breastmilk. And a mother shouldn't have too many excuses to give what's best for her baby. Breastfeeding is like, our bonding time. Mommy and Kimi, together gether.
Before this, I never let myself putus kan stok susu for Kimi, eventhough I never managed to recover the stock I made for Kimi during confinement (all used up during my first drought season), but at least I pump as much as Kimi needs. But nowadays, its kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang. I pump just enough for tomorrow, sometimes less (and forcing me to use my stock, again).
These are the choices that I have:
1. Increase pumping sessions – quite impossible in this coming 2 weeks, big eventS coming up, work’s CRAZY
2. Pump at night – done, doesn’t make much difference since I’m pumping lesser milk at work, so what I pump at night makes up for it. Sometimes, I don’t pump coz too tired, and can’t wake up at 3 am.
3. Drink kurma / longan / milkmaid tea / soya bean drink – done all, doesn’t seem to help that much. Been drinking 1 liter soy milk, 1-2 liters water every day, still don’t see much difference
4. Formula – last resort. Kimi is lactose-intolerant, so must give soy-based formula.
Looking at current situation, it shouldn’t be too long before Kimi is fed formula milk. Sigh~
I feel like I’ve failed. Like I haven't tried enough.
But then, I know I've tried my best for the past seven months. The late night pumping, the pahit - payau lobak putih diet, telan satu bowl of bayam, and once I swallowed spoonful of halba. Ew. Bluergh.
So, even if I had to resort to formula, I don't have much regrets, because I've fought my battle =)
*Edit - this post was drafted 2 days ago. Update hari ni is aku dah beli Isomil, standby dekat rumah. Haih....
That was up until last week…
…when I used up all of my stock. Stock’s gone. Depleted. Finish. Nada. Nil. Ilek.
Actually, tinggal satu botol of 4 oz. But that doesn’t make any difference. What’s worse, I’m getting less and less for each pumping session.
**********************************************************
I’m such a strong advocate of breastfeeding to the extent of making myself look like an ass / jerk when it comes to situations like these:
Other people : “I tak boleh la breastfeed anak I, susu I tak cukup.. lagipun I hantar anak I dekat babysitter..”
Me the ass: “Ada je sebenarnya susu, you kena selalu pump aje”
Other people : *Offered kimi sweets*
Me the ass: “Ey, ey tak boleh! Dia tak makan sweets!” *with high-pitched panicky voice*
Yeap, I’m an ass, I know. Teeheheheehhe...
That's because I truly believe in the goodness of breastmilk. And a mother shouldn't have too many excuses to give what's best for her baby. Breastfeeding is like, our bonding time. Mommy and Kimi, together gether.
Before this, I never let myself putus kan stok susu for Kimi, eventhough I never managed to recover the stock I made for Kimi during confinement (all used up during my first drought season), but at least I pump as much as Kimi needs. But nowadays, its kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang. I pump just enough for tomorrow, sometimes less (and forcing me to use my stock, again).
These are the choices that I have:
1. Increase pumping sessions – quite impossible in this coming 2 weeks, big eventS coming up, work’s CRAZY
2. Pump at night – done, doesn’t make much difference since I’m pumping lesser milk at work, so what I pump at night makes up for it. Sometimes, I don’t pump coz too tired, and can’t wake up at 3 am.
3. Drink kurma / longan / milkmaid tea / soya bean drink – done all, doesn’t seem to help that much. Been drinking 1 liter soy milk, 1-2 liters water every day, still don’t see much difference
4. Formula – last resort. Kimi is lactose-intolerant, so must give soy-based formula.
Looking at current situation, it shouldn’t be too long before Kimi is fed formula milk. Sigh~
I feel like I’ve failed. Like I haven't tried enough.
But then, I know I've tried my best for the past seven months. The late night pumping, the pahit - payau lobak putih diet, telan satu bowl of bayam, and once I swallowed spoonful of halba. Ew. Bluergh.
So, even if I had to resort to formula, I don't have much regrets, because I've fought my battle =)
*Edit - this post was drafted 2 days ago. Update hari ni is aku dah beli Isomil, standby dekat rumah. Haih....
Comments
shida purdue
It's a bittersweet end.
But as you said, you've fought your battle and for that reason, you should go buy yourself some expensive designer handbag as a reward! Aiceh~
nway ajan, keep on pumping dear. Don't give up. aku kais pagi makan pagi punye style all the way dari lepas abis pantang sampai last 3 month. baru surrender sbb pe'ot hampeh kurengskan hormone penghasilan susu badan. U can do it. Only resort to FM kalau stock kaisan harian tu abes. at least dia dapat more EBM dari FM.
GOod luck yeh ajan. and yeah u deserve a handbag as u've fought the battle well :)
Teehehe goodluck shida!
Nads:
Never been much of a handbag person. Handbag aku berapa kerat je. I'm going for an expensive designer haircut + highlights. Teeheheheehe. Bravo!
Haircut ade "designer" haircut ke?
lana:
aku dah start period lama dah. First period aku lah yang ruin stock aku and I never managed to recover... But kais pagi makan pagi lah sampai last week.
Last week I was hit by another really terrible kemarau season, sekali pump dapat 3 as opposed to usual 6. Itu yang habis terus stok aku yang memang tak banyak langsung tu.
huu..susah gak aku nak bandingkan sbb aku mmg pump semata..xde direct..huu..
hopefully lama bertahan susu aku ni..hoho..
Tapi sekarang ni office aku hectic sangat aku tak sempat nak pump, so aku pump 2 kali je.
Malam pas balik kerja aku direct feed. Tapi lepas period ni kurang melampau2 susu aku.
anyway..today bday ko kan? hepi bday!:D
i know who you are and i'm filing for sexual harrassment.
=D
so save your hard-earned PTD money and wait for my lawsuit okayyy?