How Journaling Can Help You Stay Sane and Centered During a World Crisis
How Journaling Can Help You Stay Sane and Centered During a World Crisis
Cut through anxiety with these simple yet effective writing prompts that get your words flowing and your mind clear
In the midst of the current world crisis, everyone’s minds are all over the place.
We are constantly bombarded with anxiety-inducing news; we worry about our jobs, about the current state of the world, about the health of our loved ones. Our routines and stability are turned upside down, and every day is haunted by a sense of fear and uncertainty.
Now more than ever, we need mindfulness and self-care practices to regulate our anxiety, to remain kind towards others, and most of all, to make rational decisions instead of reacting to fear.
However, exactly because of all the anxiety and restlessness we’re experiencing these days, it can feel especially hard to sit down, take a breath, and go within. Even for those of us who have more time in our hands, it’s more convenient to distract ourselves with social media or entertainment than meditate, do yoga, slow down, or even focus on deep work.
Today, I want to share with you a journaling practice that has been helping me and a lot of my friends and clients to stay centered and equanimous amidst the storm. You can use it no matter your situation: it’s for those who have lots of free time in self-isolation, but also for those who are busier than ever serving or caring for others. It’s for all of those struggling with stress and anxiety, and for those who want to take this global shift as a chance to rethink their life and get in touch with what really matters to them.
Facing Your Fears and Clearing Your Mind
I’ve been keeping a journal for years.
Journaling is a cornerstone practice for my productivity, creativity, well-being, and overall life. Not only do I use it myself, but I have built a business around it and I have helped hundreds of people use their journal to change their lives.
Journaling is a powerhouse of a tool. It has countless proven benefits, such as dealing with traumatic or stressful events, finding meaning in life, and even helping with physical recovery.
However, despite having experienced firsthand the immense benefits of journaling, recently it’s been really hard to stick with my routine of planning, goal-setting, and creative writing. Similarly, a lot of my clients have been complaining that they’re in such an anxious state that they can barely focus on their work and household tasks, let alone journaling.
So I came up with a solution: the key is not to drop the practice, but to adjust it. If my mind is full of worries, I won’t force myself to plan or create: instead, I’m just going to grab my pen and dump all those worries onto the paper as a way to gain clarity and create mental space.
And you know what? It works.
A UCLA researcher conducted a study where the participants — who all had a fear of spiders — were instructed to tell themselves different things before having to face a huge tarantula.
The first group was told to describe their feelings about the spider in neutral terms, such as “that little spider can’t hurt me, I’m not afraid of it.” The second group just said unrelated things out loud. The third group was instructed to say nothing at all. The fourth group was told to acknowledge their fear with statements such as, “I’m anxious and frightened by the ugly, terrifying spider.”
Guess who was the least afraid when facing the tarantula? That’s right: the fourth group.
In other words, looking at our challenging emotions right in the eye makes them much less scary. We’re so used to denying or numbing our fear, our anxiety, and our anger that we don’t realize that the best way to deal with them is simply to acknowledge them, be at peace with them, and remember that they won’t last forever.
So, how can you use your journal to help you face your fear and anxiety?
Just write them down.
Here’s an example of what this exercise could look like:
“I feel terrible today. I don’t know what’s going to happen next week, next month, or ever. I’m afraid for my parents’ health. I’m afraid that staying in the house will drive me mad. My kids keep distracting me all the time, and I am terrified of going to the shops and finding everything empty. I’m addicted to social media, but I know I should exercise — I just can’t make myself because of how restless I feel. I’m worried I’ll lose my job and end up without money. I miss my friends so much, and I just want to sleep for three days straight.”
Write down everything that’s bothering you and weighing in your chest. Imagine your mind getting lighter and empty of worries as you transfer them onto the page.
I’ll be honest: lately, there’s so much on my mind that I’ve been doing this exercise almost every day. Every time after I finish it, I feel a huge relief and an increased sense of clarity. The more regularly I do it, the more familiar and comfortable I get with my emotions and the less daunting they become.
However, there is something you should take into account, especially when you do it for the first few times: bringing your awareness to your worries and fears might feel a bit overwhelming. Facing and acknowledging our fears is an important part in the process of gaining self-awareness, but you don’t want it to become the one and only focus of your journaling practice.
Therefore, it’s important that you don’t stop after this step — and that’s exactly why I highly recommend that you move on to the next exercise.
The Art of Questioning
Big changes are happening in the world right now, and we can either let ourselves drown in them or we can accept the change and adapt to it.
In order to keep up with the change, I have found that one of the best practices is to build a habit of questioning.
What does that look like in terms of journaling?
Let’s take what you wrote in the previous step as an example. After you gained clarity and relief by writing down your worries, you can use them as fuel to strengthen your mind and completely transform your approach to life challenges.
Here are a few examples of how you can do that:
1. Shifting into a positive mindset
Example question: for each worry/fear that I wrote down, what is something related that I am grateful for?
Example answer: “My kids keep distracting me all the time” turns into “I am grateful that I get to spend more time with my kids”, or “I’m worried I’ll lose my job and end up without money” turns into “I’m grateful that I live in a developed country, that I have shelter, food, electricity, and internet connection.”
2. Problem-solving
Example question: how can I make it easier for myself to exercise and stop spending so much time on social media?
Example answer: I can set an alarm in the evening and switch off my phone two hours before bed. When I wake up, I can commit to a simple exercise (eg. one push-up) and start from there.
3. Deconstructing fears
Example question: what is the worst that can happen if I lose my job, and what can I do in that case?
Example answer: if I lose my job, I will start by spending my savings. I’ll eventually run out of money; when that happens, I will dedicate all my time to look into government funds or online job opportunities. I can easily survive on rice and beans for a few weeks, and worst-case scenario, I’ll end up living with my parents or friends for a few months.
4. Dive into self-discovery
Example question: what is it about staying at home that is driving me mad?
Example answer: I have a hard time staying still and being with myself. I get frustrated with my procrastination. Deep down, I feel extreme guilt and shame for feeling so bad despite my privilege, while others are suffering much more than me in the world. When I finally feel happy, I almost feel that I need to “tone it down.” I guess I just need some appreciation; and as for my guilt, I could ease it by contributing in some way to help my community or other people in need.
After you write down your problems or worries, you can intentionally direct your thoughts towards problem-solving, appreciation, self-reflection, or whatever you need by simply following it up with a question. When you turn your problems into questions, you are creating an invitation for your most important answers to come.
“The quality of your life is a direct reflection of the quality of the questions you are asking yourself.”―Tony Robbins
Now, this is only one example of how you can use questions to help you cope and change your mindset in this time of extreme change. Now let’s explore the full potential of what happens when you start thinking in questions.
Questioning Everything
“If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask… for once I know the proper question, I could solve the problem in less than five minutes.” — Albert Einstein
My recent questioning journey began when I started feeling the uncertainty brought by the coronavirus pandemic.
As I don’t own a house, and as I’ve been moving from place to place every few months as a lifestyle for a while, I suddenly don’t know where to go next. Borders are closing, and flights are being canceled. Adding to that the fact that I am a small business owner facing unprecedented changes in the market, I found myself needing to ask questions about my next steps, such as:
- Where am I going to be living next month?
- How can I plan my next steps despite all the external unpredictable variables?
- What can be sure of right now, and what can’t I?
- How can I prepare for the worst?
- How can I keep my business afloat while focusing more than ever on serving my customers?
Every time I opened my journal to write, I started noticing that most of what I wrote were questions that lead to other questions (that lead to other questions). I didn’t try to answer them all, but I wrote them down anyway. Amazingly, simply by bringing these questions to my awareness, a lot of unexpected answers started materializing in my head.
Gradually, this question-asking habit transposed itself from my journaling practice and into my everyday life.
I started going about my days with an intention to collect questions: from every interaction I had, every event I attended (online, of course), every client I coached, every movie I watched, every book I read. Slowly, I started dropping my pointless obsession with finding answers and instead became more and more curious about finding good questions.
The other day I attended a workshop which was so insightful that I was left with this uncomfortable realization of how much there is still left for me to learn in my work. I was struck with this strong feeling of humility, slightly embarrassed by my usual tendency to adopt an “expert” position in my work and interactions. So I turned all of this into a question: “How can I bring more humility into my work?” Immediately, a fountain of answers started pouring out of my pen: “Learn more. Focus on serving others more. Forgive yourself. Adopt a beginner’s mind. Share from where you are, not where you wish you would be.”
By adopting this mindset, my journaling practice became 1000x easier and more productive; I no longer feel that I had to write something, but instead, I feel grateful for gaining a practical tool that helps me navigate reality.
I invite you to take this time of uncertainty to ask yourself questions every day. Look for them in your thoughts, your actions, and in every moment of your life.
Then, write down your questions in your journal. You can carry it around with you, or you can simply take notes whenever you feel like it. You can either create a special spread for collecting questions, or you can write them down randomly throughout your journal and answer them whenever you like.
Now, there’s a special trick I want to share with you: how to come up with great answers to your questions.
Unlocking Great Answers
In an interview with Tim Ferriss, Josh Waitzkin, author of The Art of Learning, shared a special method he uses to get the best answers to his most important questions.
Taking advantage of the fact that our brains are at their most creative first thing after we wake up, every evening he asks himself an important question (his “Most Important Question” of the day), then lets his subconscious mind process it while he sleeps, and he journals about it when he wakes up.
I have been using this technique almost every single day for a few months, and it has helped me solve some of my most difficult problems, come up with some of my best ideas, make some of my most important decisions, and make significant progress in the journey of discovering who I am.
Prompting yourself with a question makes the process of journaling much less daunting because you don’t have to face an empty page: you know the cue, and all you have to do is write down the answers
Now, don’t put pressure on yourself to come up with perfect answers; simply ask, let your mind rest (leave space for incubation, which is an important part of the creative process), and then when you sit down to write the answers, simply let the ideas flow naturally. Sometimes you’ll come up with great answers, and other times you’ll come up with better questions. Both are fine: what’s important is that this introspective habit will make you more comfortable with change, make you more adaptable, and give you the courage to look inside when you most need it.
Three Questions to Start With
If you like the idea of prompting yourself with questions but don’t know where to start, here are three of the most powerful questions I ask myself on a regular basis and which have profound effects on my creativity, productivity, and well-being.
1. The focusing question
In his book The ONE Thing, Gary Keller suggests that one of the main culprits for our lack of clarity and productivity is our tendency to focus on too many things at the same time.
This can be especially relevant right now, when so much of our routines and habits are changing and we have so much to take care of, or when so much of our time has been freed up by self-isolation that we feel overwhelmed by the infinite possibilities of how to occupy it.
Keller came up with a powerful question to help you focus on what really matters:
“What is the one thing I can do, such that by doing it, everything else becomes easier or unnecessary?”
The key is to make it one thing — not two or three or more. You can also adapt this question to different timeframes (“what is the one thing I can do today/this week…”).
He also suggests an exercise called Goal Setting to the Now: you start by defining the one thing you want to complete “someday” (think life goals/mission), then make your way down (one year, one month, one week, today, right now). This can be especially useful in today’s circumstances: when our medium-term plans went through the window and all we have are our life goals and our small everyday actions, you can use this exercise to make sure that at least those stay connected.
After you come up with an answer to the focusing question, simply complete your defined action and then ask yourself the focusing question again. This is a great tool to stay in the present moment, avoid multitasking and distractions, and make sure that your actions are aligned with a bigger goal that contributes positively to your life or the life of others.
2. The self-parenting question
Let’s face it: when times are hard, sometimes all we need is someone to hold us and take care of us, like a child looking for comfort, reassurance, and motivation from a loving parent.
The good news is, often you can meet a lot of those needs by yourself. When you feel afraid, sad, disappointed, angry, or frustrated, simply ask yourself:
“Who is someone I look up to, and what words would I like to hear from them in this situation?”
I know this might seem weird at first, but stepping into the shoes of a mentor or parental figure who I trust and admire, and then writing to myself from that point of view, has had an unbelievable impact in times when I struggled the most.
By adopting the perspective of a wiser person, you are learning how to change your self-talk and build the skill of meeting your own needs for encouragement, mental resilience, and self-esteem.
No one will read what you write but you, so really try to make it sound as authentic and as heart-felt possible. Here’s an example:
“I know you’re feeling sad right now. But here’s the thing: this, too, shall pass. No matter what happens, the choice to remain happy is yours. I cannot guarantee that things won’t change, but I have seen you overcome obstacles in the past and I know you’re stronger than you think. All you have to do is focus on what you can control, and forget what you can’t. Now, give yourself a hug, make yourself a cup of tea, and get ready to face the day!”
3. The opportunity question
Most of us have a negativity bias: that is, it’s much easier for us to focus on and remember the unpleasant moments of life than the positive moments of joy.
Over the past few weeks, this bias understandably gets amplified: we spend most of our time thinking about all the horrible things that are happening, and we forget to pay attention to what really matters — our response to those things.
I want to invite you to stop obsessing about whatever life throws your way, and instead focus on what you can do about it. Here’s a question that might help you with that:
“Why is this happening for me?”
Notice how the word “for” is used instead of “to”: this reinforces a mindset of gratitude, which has been proven to make us happier and less depressed, and it also trains the mind to accept challenges as an opportunity to make a positive change instead of complaining about our unfortunate fate.
For example, if you take the coronavirus pandemic and its social/emotional consequences and ask yourself “why is this happening for me?”, here’s what your answer can look like:
“This is happening for me as an opportunity to heal my relationships with my loved ones by checking on them daily; to face and address my fears; to declutter my house now that I have the time; to become more grateful for what I have, and more empathetic towards everyone who’s suffering more than me; to read, reflect, and meditate; to use my skills to help others and fulfill my purpose in this world.”
Embrace Uncertainty and Be Gentle With Yourself
The best way to be kind to others is to first find peace within ourselves. The best way to remain calm, rational, and equanimous in challenging times is by taking the time for self-reflection and questioning.
Therefore, I invite you to take five minutes today, open your journal, grab a pen, and start by emptying your mind of worries by putting them down on paper. Don’t fight or block what you’re feeling: just shed the light of awareness on it. Hopefully, you will feel space opening up, as if a weight just has been lifted off your shoulders.
Then, I invite you to turn your fears into a question. I invite you to look into the opportunities that your challenges are bringing you; start with simple questions that will bring you to the present moment and help you focus on what you can control. As you gain a taste for questioning, let your questions gradually bring down the dogmas and limiting beliefs inside your mind, and let them show you the way towards becoming a better human and an active agent in the process of making the world a better place
Silvia Bastos, as appeared on https://medium.com/better-humans/how-journaling-can-help-you-stay-sane-and-centered-during-a-world-crisis-5623896c6f5d
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